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“Beth, you must feel terrible,” I offered, as I ran my hands lightly and gently up and down her smooth legs.“Well, I do feel terrible, but not because of stupid Dean,” she stated, her voice trailing off. “He’s so dull and boring in bed, I just couldn’t stand to pretend anymore, so I quit having sex with him at all. He had no clue how to make sex fun,” she offered, looking up to me, as I calmed her down by continuing to massage her legs. As she spoke, I was aware that each new stroke brought my fingertips closer and closer to the hem of her impossibly skimpy white shorts. Soon, I was running my hands up under her shorts, finally touching her lacy little thong. “He’s only interested in getting himself off: no toys, no wild positions, no rough stuff, no anal sex…he just doesn’t THINK sexy, like you do, Uncle Billy”, she blurted out. Well, I didn’t see this one coming either, and I damn near fell off my chair, but I kept my composure. She instinctively pulled her legs back from. The woman ran screaming from the courtyard—perhaps she didn't think Goofy was bluffing, either. Military working dogs are trained to stay with the handler when the handler goes down, and that may be why Goofy's prey reflex wasn't triggered. The worst thing one can do when facing an aggressive dog is run away. When the danger was past, Goofy and Harmony and Miss Krystal checked my welfare. I had a bloody nose (Goofy kept licking it) but otherwise seemed okay. A little headache. I managed to hit the floor correctly and didn't bang my head—thank you Sergeant Saunders for those judo classes. Other than that bit of battery, the only confrontations were verbal.At another venue Miss Krystal had me explain why I was dominating Harmony. I used Goofy as an example. Harmony isn't a dog, but I respect dogs and I respect humans. I lend a sense of security and purpose to Goofy. Then I began praising my friend Goofy as a teacher, a companion—and a protector."Goofy, heel!" I commanded. The Doberman.
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